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On Chaos

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October 2008
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They say that chaos is good for creation.  Worked for God anyway.  The motto of the Scottish Rite is Ordo ab Chao.  However, entering the third week of our remodeling project, I have serious doubts.  In fact, I think I need to get out of the house.  It has been a learning experience.  Bro. Bob gave me a lesson in painting walls today, which I quite appreciated.  I have been doing them myself (with SP’s help) and yet have not been getting even coverage.  The sage greens in my study are very appealing though, and I very much like my sky blue closet door.  The new oak door to the study has yet to be installed.  Thank God I am not trying to do this all myself.  Leave it to the professionals.

I am distinctly tired of having all my book shelves cluttering up the living room and all my books scattered about in boxes where I cannot find half of them.  I want my desk back.  But the rebuilding of the back stairs in the final part of the project, so we cannot move everything back down until that is finished.  Yes, when I used to play Dungeons and Dragons I played a paladin, Lawful and Good.  I just don’t like chaos.  Of course, the D&D character choice can be backed up by Meyers Briggs which makes me out to be an INTJ (that’s Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging type)  Actually, I am about equally balance between Thinking and Feeling, which I suppose might account for why I am incapable of taking any action at all most of the time and just want to lie down.

I’ve started writing my memoirs — actually a biography of myself — called Elf-Owl: A Half-Life.  I figure I am well over half my way through my lifespan and better go back and review before I forget everything I’ve learned.  I hear there is a test.  Actually, this whimsical project was inspired by my re-reading Humphrey Carpenter’s biography of J. R. R. Tolkien (Ronald) which cast me back to when I was 19 and reading it for the first time.  I was greatly influenced by Ronald’s life and wanted to follow his footsteps by becoming an English professor and writing my own mythological fiction.  Of course one problem with being “another Tolkien” is that you are never going to be taken as original the way he was.  Moreover, no one will take you seriously because you are just one of ten million other Tolkien fans who wish they could be just like him.  Your writing becomes nothing but “fan fiction.”  Especially if you never get around to finishing any of it and publishing it.  Which is why I decided to just skip the literary fame and fortune and write my own biography.  Simplifies things.

I also have developed a new medical theory of a new disorder.  It is a psycho-somatic disorder which I have named Volitional Disorder (V.D.).  If you have V.D. that means you cannot make yourself do what you want to do.  You can waste lots of time writing lists and making project management schedules, but then you ignore them.  And if you get up from your desk to go to the bathroom, you end up taking out the trash and doing the dishes instead and then wondering half an hour later why you have to go to the bathroom again.  V.D. used to be called “absentmindedness” but that isn’t very scientific, so I’ve given it a better name.  As I am a doctor of English and not pharmaceuticals, my therapy for V.D. is poetry therapy.  Every time you want to do something and get distracted (assuming you happen to notice that this has happened), immediately sit down and read some poetry.

If you believe you have V.D. try this therapy and let me know how it works — if you remember.

OWL  /|\

1 Comment

  1. paulmilne says:

    Hi Alferian. Have just been reading through some of your posts, and much of what you say strikes a chord with me.

    I like your diagnosis of, and cure for, “volitional disorder”, a condition I have lived with most of my adult life, and I especially like your cure for it. It’s a good excuse to keep a slim volume of poetry about one’s person – as if you need an excuse!

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